Lilly

Last week, Lil's preschool class had a field trip to a local grocery. The kids seemed to enjoy seeing the behind the scenes of a market...like the freezer and fridge. The free cookie at the bakery was also popular. Lilly loves going to school. She seems to really thirst after knowledge and loves learning something new (although if you ask her she'll tell you she already knows how to do a host of things and doesn't need a lesson; ie.piano playing, driving, etc...) She sits in her class and listens intently. She seems so focused. Usually only distracted by her beloved friend, Carter (she ADORES him!)

I know it's hard to reconcile my complaints about my sweet girl when in church and at school she seems angelic. I appreciate being able to vent and express some of the frustration I feel, whether on my blog or to a listening ear. This girl is tough. We are in the process of getting some help with her but until then I will bend your ear now and then with my tales of woe.

It's been especially rough lately. I don't know if it's the fact that my back pain hasn't abated (it has crossed my mind that my back pain is a manifestation of the stress I feel.) My brow is furrowed a lot of the time, I've noticed. I love my cute girl. She is really a smart, interesting, funny kid. But she is so hard headed. She will NOT listen to her Mom and Dad. She is intent on doing what she wants to do. She will resist loudly and forcefully. She will ignore even the kindest of suggestions...walk right away from you. We are on constant watch. My stomach remains knotted when I'm around Lilly. It makes me sad to say that, but it is true. She hurts her brother with no provocation. She hits me when she doesn't get her way. She likes to show you just how OK she is without you and so she'll run away from you the moment she can. She likes heading to store workers and chatting with them...sometimes telling them that she is lost...but mostly regaling them with stories. Lies are common with Lil. She barely blinks when moving from truth to lie. It's disturbing how easily she lies. All of this may sound like normal kid things but in all the years of working with kids, nannying for 9 different families, raising my boy, etc...I've never encountered someone like Lil. It's hard to explain the depth of the difficulty. Fingers crossed, we'll soon get some tools or help in dealing with her. We love her dearly. We think she is amazing. But we are deep in the trenches of parenting right now and it's hard to see some light.