Miss Lilly

Our dear, sweet girl has her moments, like we all do. As many of you know, she has an ear-piercing scream. She wants to do what she wants to do. She is hell-bent. She is adept at using all 17 pounds of herself to wiggle out of your arms, a safety strap, her stroller. She does not want to be contained. She is also a worrier. As I looked for pictures of her to post there emerged a pattern. She IS a fun, happy, sweet girl. BUT, she lets you know how she is feeling, good or bad. I have so many of these pictures, where she looks so sad. Really, if you spend time with her she is SO much fun. I think she is either totally happy or sad. Not a lot of in between with Miss Lil. I wish you could hear her talking right now. She tries to say everything you ask her to. She has the CUTEST teeny tiny voice! (The scream does not make this evident!)
As I walked past their rooms this morning, I couldn't help but feel a lump in my throat. Al and I are still so in awe of the amazing thing our children's birth-moms did for them. How lucky are we to have these little people in our lives? I dislike using the word "blessed" because there are so many couples out there struggling with infertility and God hasn't "blessed" them. I see the hand of God in our story, though. I see it in my birth-moms. They are amazing women that listened to their hearts and put the needs of their children before their own selfish wishes. They then followed the gentle leads, I believe, God put in their paths to steer them our way. We think it is definitely a miracle and we thank God for these women. It is merely biology working or not working where infertility is concerned...but it is the grace of God being allowed to work through these beautiful women that makes the miracle for us. We feel blessed to have gone through our struggles and have the story we have. These babies are so precious and I feel humbled (and inadequate sometimes!) that I am given the responsibility to be their Mom. I pray that more hearts will be open to adoption. One of the biggest barriers to birth-moms placing their children with stable families is grandparents. My friend Jen is the Mom to a beautiful boy because of the strength of his Grandma to put his needs first. This Grandma loves him so much...but she placed him clear across the country because she wanted him to thrive and be loved. What an example she is! We could learn a lot from these women. Once, in a grocery store, soon after Max was born, a man commented how beautiful my baby was. "Is his Daddy black?" he asked. I explained that he was adopted. "You mean, some mother just threw that beautiful baby away?!" I was speechless at the question. I went on to lecture him about the amazing, selfless nature of adoption. That our birth-mom was someone to be revered, held up as an example, NOT disdained. After about 10 minutes of a tough-lashing I let him go. To this day, I cry a little, thinking about what prejudices my little birth-moms must face. Ignorant comments, unkind words. I love these women. Max's birth-mom still laughs when she retells the story of revealing to me that she had picked ME to be Max's Mom. "You're making me a mother?!" I asked, through choked tears. "Yep." WOW...